WICHITA, KS—Desperately hoping to raise its profile and boost attendance, the Wichita Zoo, long considered one of the crappiest zoos in the United States, is using every resource at its disposal to promote the hell out of a new fruit bat, sources reported Friday.Local residents confirmed the zoo was "doing a real big push for that bat," who was christened Dwayne following a statewide naming contest and has since become a ubiquitous presence on the backs of benches and sides of buses throughout the greater Wichita area.
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We've all got Dwayne fever around here," said zoo director David Tucker, sporting a Dwayne the Fruit Bat mesh trucker cap. "Why wouldn't we? Dwayne is an amazing fruit-bat specimen, and we've built a state-of-the-art habitat for him. His family comes from Australia, he has a wingspan of 15 inches—plus, he's one of only 40 fruit bats in the state."
"We're really pulling out all the stops for this guy," Tucker added.
Plagued by struggles over the years to attain adequate funding, the zoo has reportedly sunk everything it can into publicizing the fruit bat, renting out billboards along major highways in Wichita and covering them with a close-up photo of Dwayne accompanied by the slogan "Get Batty Wit It."
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